Free Your Mind, hopefully the rest will follow.

I never intended this blog to be a political forum, I would count myself among the least political people I know. The blog, as you may or may not know, was created for the purpose of writing with my friend Sasha, and presenting culturally different perspectives on whatever topic came up. Unfortunately, Sasha, for various reasons, has been unable to post, and I have sort of gone in the direction that my concerns have taken me. Eventually I will get around to remodeling the blog so that it reflects one author, rather than two, but I keep hoping that he will find the time.

It’s been a few days since I have posted. I have been thinking hard about the topic that I want to talk about, and how I wanted to approach it, and reading and doing a little research. I think it is a very important topic, one that all of us need to think hard about, especially in the days to come… but I worry about coming off as pedantic or self righteous or as an insufferable know it all, so I procrastinate. This blog was just supposed to be about how I felt about things. But something happened the other day that made me say “you know about this stuff, you should write something about it,” so… here goes.

What I want to talk about is propaganda.

First a little definition and history.

Propaganda, according to Merriam Webster Dictionary:

Propaganda noun \ˌprä-pə-ˈgan-də, ˌprō-\

1: capitalized : a congregation of the Roman curia having jurisdiction over missionary territories and related institutions

2: the spreading of ideas, INFORMATION, or rumor for the purpose of helping or injuring an institution, a cause, or a person

3: ideas, facts, or allegations spread deliberately to further one's cause or to damage an opposing cause; also : a public action having such an effect

Since number 1 is obviously not the one we are referring to, we will go with 2 and 3. Propaganda is a form of communication, or information dissemination with the intent of furthering, or causing damage to an individual, institution, or cause. It is important to understand that propaganda is not meant as a source of accurate information to edify the receiver, rather, it is a tactic meant primarily to influence the receiver and motivate them to take a specific action to the benefit of the propagandist.

Usually when we hear the term we think of the Jingoistic imagery associated with the Soviet Bloc countries of the Cold War, or the Nazi’s in WWII, or even Iran and North Korea.

But although that is typically where our minds go, they are not the masters of propaganda. Not by a long shot. Those types of propaganda are obvious, easily recognized for what they are, and generally tuned out by the mass populace. Propaganda is part of a particularly Western science known as Persuasion that also includes marketing and advertising, among other, more insidious forms of mass influence and control. The United States has mastered this science like no one else, when we do it, it’s quick, subtle, efficient, and effective… and people really believe they are thinking for themselves.

During WWII Propaganda was heavily employed, and the main concern of communication research centered around propaganda and its use as a means to influence and control public thought.

But that’s all ancient history.

Well, not so much. While some forms of propaganda are very identifiable, some are less so, and while we may be very good at spotting propaganda on the side of the issue this is opposite to our own, we are not so good at weeding through and fact checking those sources we tend to agree with.

Take Fox News for example. Everyone with liberal leanings is very quick to point out the errors and hyperbole of Fox News. Their claim of being “fair and balanced” is laughable, right? They spin every story, leave out important facts, edit video and quote speech out of context. They present the picture they want their viewers to see and completely shape their opinion for them. Obviously there is corporate backing for this, they are spewing a right wing agenda, and protecting the interests of the GOP and their 1% overlords. They are purposefully generating hate against President Obama, misrepresenting the 99%, and loads of other terrible things. Some have gone so far to even label them “state television.”

But then, those same people will follow MoveOn.Org, or watch MSNBC, organizations that are doing the same thing, and will buy into it hook, line, and sinker.

I am just as guilty. Propaganda appeals to our emotions as opposed to our logic, and we like to feel justified in our beliefs. So, when MoveOn posts a picture of a sign that says:

"New Company Policy: We are not hiring until Obama is gone,"

With the headline reading: The Photo Proving the GOP Will Do Anything to Get Rid of Obama, Even if it Hurts America.
see it here
We have an instant reaction. It hits us in the gut, and we get angry. Angry at those fucking republicans who will do anything to take this country down! FASCISTS! THIS PROVES IT!

But wait. Hold on a minute. It doesn’t prove anything. What it proves is that MoveOn.org posted a picture with no context, with a fallacious headline meant to provoke a response. That sounds like propaganda to me.

A little fact checking shows the sign has nothing to do with the GOP. It was posted by a Georgia businessman. A single individual, who feels that he can’t afford to hire anyone in the current economic climate, and he sees the current climate as the president’s fault. The thing is, we may not agree with him. The fact that he posted this on his trucks may anger us. But he has the same First Ammendment Rights as we do, and his single opinion isn’t any more representative of all the members of a political party any more than the guy who stands in Civic Center Park and shouts “Satan Rules,” is representative of all the participants of Occupy Denver, or Occupy Wall Street as a whole, and to say so is not only completely unfair, it is ridiculous.

But this picture and headline have achieved a very important thing as they spread virally across the internet. They achieved the purpose of further alienating liberals from conservatives. They have achieved the purpose of dehumanizing our "opponent" and giving us an object to aim our frustration, anger, and hatred towards. It's divide and conquer tactics. More on that later, but first...

My question is this… and it may be a question that gets me some flack, but I am prepared to ask it. For those of the left leaning persuasion it is generally accepted that Fox News is a corporate tool. If that is true (and I believe it is), doesn’t that beg the question… Whose tool is MoveOn? Whose tool is MSNBC?

I have stated many times that right now this country is more polarized along party lines than ever. I have never heard people speak about each other with such venom, such vitriol… such hate. It fills me with a sense of sadness. It reminds me of stories I have read by Civil War veterans about the hatred of American toward American, brother against brother, and how badly it damaged the country. We are there again.

Now, ask yourself… who benefits? Who is the beneficiary of the inability of the people of this country to agree, and to hate each other with such passion based on political affiliation? Who profits from using propaganda as a tool to shape public opinion on both sides. I mean, it couldn't be the same interests on either side... could it?

In my last post I talked about divide and conquer tactics. How can we, as Americans, accomplish any goal when we are at the whim of propagandists whose sole purpose is to keep us divided as a nation, and easily controlled?

Here is a quote by linguist and communication scientist Noam Chomsky,

“The 20th century has been characterized by three developments of great political importance: the growth of democracy, the growth of corporate power, and the growth of corporate propaganda as a means of protecting corporate power against democracy.”

We have determined whose tool the “conservative” media is. I will ask again, whose tool is the “liberal” media?

Propaganda is designed to illicit a knee jerk, emotional response, but once you understand that, it is a little easier to detect.

All I am saying is check your facts, be a doubting Thomas, don’t take things at face value, and get your information from a variety of sources. And BE REASONABLE AND LOGICAL.

Look… it may serve our bias to believe that all conservative people are hateful devils who want to destroy us and our freedoms, but it just isn’t so. Think about every time that someone said that people who believe like you hate America. How did that make you feel? Was it true?

My parents are good people. They taught me to think for myself, to choose the candidate I think could best do the job, regardless of what party he belonged to. They taught me that voting is a great responsibility, and it was my duty as a citizen. They taught me great love for my country. They have been through some really hard times, they work hard. Now they are older and worried about social security and medicare and healthcare costs. Their main concerns were raising a family, making their farm work, paying the bills, feeding the kids, helping their extended family, and living a good life.

My parents are Tea Party Republicans.

Do I agree with their ideology? No, not at all. Are they good people, who love their country? Yes, absolutely. Do we have some ideas in common? Yes. Can we agree on some things? Yes.

They are people, like their friends are people, like we are people. With the same basic needs and concerns.

Would those in politics and power like to keep us apart? Absolutely. As a matter of fact, the most terrifying thing to the really corrupt and powerful is the thought of the American people truly uniting.

We are all the 99%, we have all suffered from unfairness and corruption. We may not all agree on the solutions to the problems, but we sure as hell can come to a compromise.

Before we can take back our country we have to take back our minds. Turn off the TV, the radio, the internet… and go talk to someone face to face who has different ideas than you do.

It’s the American way, or at least… it needs to be.

Is it still worth standing up for?

Time

 Can anyone tell me why the latest issue of Time Magazine went out to the rest of the world with a cover photo and story of the Tahrir Square protests, and yet, in the United States - land of freedom of speech, and freedom of the press - our cover story is Anxiety? Who called for this, and why?

Could this be a little whitewash so we don't look to closely to what is going on in our own streets, or the hypocrisy being shown by our leaders?
One of the biggest messages of those who oppose OWS has been that there is no message, that the occupy movement is confused, incoherent, and directionless. If this is so, why the crackdowns?

Can someone tell me why a group of Tea Party protesters who all were carrying firearms were not dispersed or confronted by police, yet, across the nation peaceful, unarmed protesters, relying on the protection of their first amendments rights have been brutalized by police? (not saying that these folks don't have the right to carry their firearms, or to protest, but does that seem a little odd to you?)

(two things to notice - the sign on the armed dog could definitely be seen as a threat to the President of the United States. 2. A lot of the signs say the same thing as OWS protesters signs do...)

Maybe it is because the Tea Party does not threaten the personal wealth of congress members and their ability to illegally gain and manipulate that wealth with impunity.

The Tea Party folks feel like they have been taxed enough already, that seems to be their message. Don't tax me. They don't support taxes for anyone, not even the richest of the rich in this country, people who have escaped paying their fair share of taxes and contributing to the infrastructure of this country for a long time... people who are the reason the teapartiers, and the rest of us pay so much taxes. But according to them no one should pay taxes! The streets will just magically pave themselves. The ambulances, and fire engines, and police will just magically show up on their own. The schools will magically have all that they need to educate our kids. Everything will be fine, just don't touch my teabag. These are the same folks that are so fond of parroting that OWS has no message... but.

OWS definitely has a message, and it is a dangerous one. It's one that those in power don't want to hear, and they are doing everything they can to dilute it, diffuse it, derail it, redirect it and keep it out of the public ear.
If you haven't read this article in the Guardian  By Naomi Wolf about the Crackdown on Occupy, then you need to, even if you think the OWS protesters are freeloaders.

If that is a little too pithy, then check out this explanation On Venturebeat using Hershey's Kisses.

Now, before you use the serf's favorite argument that this is all class warfare and the 99% are all just jealous of what the 1% have (we are such deadbeats), let me just quote Audiophile666's comment on this page, she/he sums it up nicely.

"The thing that people often forget to mention here is that the financial sector got bailed out in an undeniably Socialist solution to a capitalist problem-- and the plan was made by a Republican president! It can make your brain hurt, for sure. Especially when the democratic president following him had to be the one to administer the bailout.
But let's not forget the Federal Reserve's extra special secret loans to the biggest banks: http://sanders.senate.gov/news...
... also the blatant conflict of interest of the Fed's "board of governors" ... and the fact that the original bailout was hatched by several government officials who had previously served as either CEO's or on the board of directors of many of the financial institutions in the first place.
OR how about the fact that mostly these problems got so big because of lobbying to remove sensible sector divisions, or to prevent regulation of derivatives, which are more or less just bets...  or extreme leveraging of assets by these huge institutions... Or for the fraud for packaging toxic assets in CDO's and selling them to everybody as AAA rated products and then betting against them...

What about the people who got caught in the crossfire and lost their jobs or homes or suddenly had the rug pulled out from under them? They received no bailout. And those that are receiving "benefits"? Those benefits are by no means "lavish".
Oh yes... And after all of this lobbying to become huger than ever, and after the fraud and collusion, and the greed and the bait-and-switch loan terms and reckless endangerment by excessive leveraging and "creative accounting" and the crashing of what is, essentially, the world economy....

Yes, you got it. The 99% is merely envious of what the 1% has.
#sarcasmalert

Also, the 1%-- just a figure that came up when the 2010 Census revealed that there are now more people in the US living under the poverty level than at any time since the Great Depression... while the richest are richer than they've been at any time since the 1920's.
Coincidence? ...probably not. Check out google's news archive- scanned newspapers- from 1929 and so forth. They read a lot like today's... "

Occupy stepped on some toes by noticing what was going on in the financial and political sectors, and getting pissed off about it. You should be pissed off about it too. Whether you like strapping a gun on, or sitting at home watching TV, or standing in front of your city hall with a sign... we are all American Citizens, and we all stand to lose. We all need to stand up and say something.

Look, Phillip of Macedon perfected the technique, he even coined the phrase... Divide and Conquer. He knew, when ruling the Greeks, that breaking a nation into small factions would make it easy to manage and control... that preventing these groups from agreeing, and thereby joining forces, would allow him to rule without opposition, and he could do basically whatever he wanted. Does this sound familiar?

That's basically what is happening in our country right now, and it's been going on for a long time. We have a two party system that does everything in its power to keep the populace ideologically opposed, waging a propaganda war at each other while congress, corporations, and the wealthiest .01% keep getting richer.

Phillip didn't have the tools that the ruling class have today. Of these tools, the media is the most powerful. The media shapes opinions, influences judgement and decision making, controls through fear, and very effectively keeps the American people separate and suspicious of each other. This country is more polarized than it has ever been, and the insidious propagation of the belief that coming together for the common good is somehow tantamount to communism (which most people don't understand and are typically erroneous in defining, however the word carries Cold War power and implies something distinctly unAmerican and 'wrong'), perpetuates that division. Political candidates, rather than speaking to facts and issues, speak hyperbolized rhetoric and fabrications, engaging in a trumped up blame game that keeps our heads spinning, but offers no solution to our problems. Where once an opposing opinion was respected, it is now looked upon with venemous hatred, the bearer of the opinion is accused of "hating America."

Let me just take a little detour on this "hating America" thing for a sec. I support OWS. I am what most would consider a liberal, with all that the word implies. I love my country. My father, and his father, and his father, and his father before him fought for and served this country. I learned civics, and understand my responsibilities as a citizen of this country. I vote, and I exercise my rights. I am an American, and I defy anyone to tell me that I hate the United States. How dare anyone make that assertion. The banks and corporations and politicians who are making a profit off the backs of the people of this country are the haters, and they need to answer to someone. Now, back to the point.

We are being duped, all of us. It's time to stop listening to the crap that the powers that be are feeding us and make a stand. It is time to demand, not a hand out.. not redistribution of wealth, or class warfare, or any of the other ridiculous claims made by those who oppose OWS... but justice, fair treatment, and adherence to the law. It is time to take back America, OUR America... and turn it into the country we believed it to be... the land of the free, with a government of, by, and for the people. It is time for banks and speculators to be regulated so that they do no more damage to our economy. It is time for the people responsible for the financial collapse to go to jail.  It is time to reign in congress and hold them accountable for their abuses, on both sides of the aisle. It is time to bring this country back to where people can be successful and have an actual chance to live the American dream that we all have been told to aspire to our entire lives. And while we are at it, lets realize that the dream is not about how much merchandise you can purchase, but about a quality of life, and pursuit of happiness.

I was raised to believe that we are the good guys. That our government stood on principles set forth by our founding fathers. That there is the rule of law, and it is steadfast. Why do I occupy? Because I want this to be the truth. I don't want my government to have the power or inclination to use force against its citizens in an effort to silence them when they cry out for redress of wrongs. I don't want the people who hold offices that should be considered a privilege using those offices for profit at the expense and detriment of their constituency. My parents taught me that this nation was great, and that sacrifice was necessary to keep it great, and that we had a duty and responsibility to defend our rights and the rights of those that come after us. I would be remiss if I kept silent... you are remiss if you keep silent.

Speaking of Founding Fathers... lots of people out there like to speculate on what they did or did not intend for this country... but one thing is certain.

Until 1956 the de facto motto of the United States of America was E Pluribus Unum... Out of many, one.

It is time to take up that motto again, because THAT is what the Founding Fathers intended for this nation, so much so that they put the words on the Great Seal of the United States. We, the American people, are being conquered, and it is time to see past the divisions, and again become UNITED states.

We like to call the WWII generation the "Greatest Generation." Perhaps it is because they exemplify E Pluribus Unum the best. A nation united under a common goal, for the common good.

For the common good. For the general welfare. For the people. These words are not socialist, they are not communist... they are American. They are found in the Constitution of the United States, a document in peril.

I used to say the Constitution was a "self repairing document," meaning that it was authored so that future generations could continue to improve upon it and the country. So many times we have... the Bill of Rights, abolition of slavery, votes for African Americans,votes for women, civil rights, equal rights...

Is it still? Can it get past what our own politicians, on both sides, are doing to it? Is it still worth standing up for? Is it worth looking past your individual differences to become united in the cause of reinstilling the truth and transparency into our governing process, of returning it to the hands of the people?

I think so.

Dangerous, Combative, and Violent...

There are a number of reasons why we, as rational individuals and citizens of this country should be outraged by this event:

Several non-aggressive, non-violent, peacefully protesting students were saturated with pepper spray at point blank range at a protest in solidarity with OWS on the UC Davis campus. I am not sure which is more chilling, the passivity with which these protesters allowed themselves to be tortured, and yes, I did say tortured... by the officer wielding the can of spray, OR the nonchalance exhibited by the officer as he blasted these kids in the face with a caustic chemical agent. This is a beautiful and heart rending example of Satyagraha, and these kids have my gratitude and admiration.

Let me share some facts I learned about this chemical agent the cops seem to be so fond of sharing.


The concept for pepper spray, or Oleoresin capsicum (OC), originated with police in India, who, as a form of torture and interrogation, used to spray mixtures of hot pepper juice into the eyes of their prisoners. Canadians further developed the idea as a form of bear repellent, and the US Postal service picked up on it as a way to keep vicious dogs from attacking mailmen. This is all fine and good, but what about its use as 'dangerous bad guy' repellent?


Seeing some potential in the pepper spray repellent, the US Army began testing Oleoresin capsicum at the Aberdeen Proving Ground, and in 1993 determined that it was dangerous, deemed it a chemical agent, and said that it could cause harmful effects such as "[m]utagenic effects, carcinogenic effects, sensitization, cardiovascular and pulmonary toxicity, neurotoxicity, as well as possible human fatalities. There is a risk in using this product on a large and varied population". (Dr. Harry Salem, Aberdeen Proving Ground, 1993).


The FBI didn't see the danger, however, and ran their own tests. Pepper spray was found by the FBI to be safe, and it is currently in use by over 2000 public safety agencies in the US. I am sure it was just coincidence that the person in charge of the FBI studies, Agent Thomas Ward, Head of the FBI's Less than Lethal Weapons Program, was receiving payments from a company called Luckey Police Products, the manufacturer of the pepper gas that Ward was conducting the tests on, and that he eventually approved as safe for use. Ward received a total of over $57,000 dollars in payments. The FBI didn't think it was coincidence, and Ward was arrested and served 2 months in jail. They didn't take pepper spray off the market though, it was still regarded as safe for use. (http://www.nytimes.com/1996/05/20/us/former-fbi-agent-is-sentenced-to-prison.html)

According to the ACLU, there is 1 death for every 600 times pepper spray is used by the police.


The LA Times has documented 61 cases of death caused by pepper spray since 1990, the ACLU has documented 22 cases of people who have died, while in police custody, from the use of pepper spray since 1993.


"Regardless of injuries and even death resulting from its use, there is not a single federal agency currently responsible for regulation." – Lynne Wilson, Covert Action Quarterly.

According the the National Institute of Justice, Oleoresin capsicum (OC), or “pepper spray,” is gaining acceptance and popularity among law enforcement officers and police agencies as a safe and effective method of incapacitating violent or threatening subjects. There is, however, a lack of objective data on OC, its risks and its benefits.”

I would like to point out the use of terms "violent," and "threatening." According to a 2001 article in the National Institute of Justice Research in Brief, the intended use of pepper spray is "as a use-of-force option to subdue and control dangerous, combative, or violent subjects in the field." According to a 2003 statement by the US Department of Justice, the intended purpose is to "subdue and arrest dangerous, combative, and violent subjects."

Dangerous, combative, violent. I didn't see any combative or violent action on the part of the UC Davis students. I don't see any dangerous, combative, or violent behavior on the part of these women at OWS in New York who were corralled in by several male police officers and then sprayed:

There was no dangerous, combative, or violent behavior exhibited by 84 year old Dorli Rainey before she was blasted in the face by pepper spray at Occupy Seattle. I am sure the priest and the 19 year old pregnant woman, who were sprayed along with her, weren't combative or violent either.

Pepper spray is intended for use on violent, dangerous criminals, NOT peaceful protesters who are exercising their constitutional right to peaceful assembly.

How are the police justified in using this agent against innocent people? Retired Philadelphia Police Captain Ray Lewis summed it up best. "Corporate America is using our police departments as hired thugs."

These thugs are using pepper spray against peaceful protesters as a form of punishment and torture, that is the only explanation, since it is not being used for its intended purpose because these people are not dangerous, they are not combative, nor are they violent. It is a tool to suppress free speech, and it is being used in violation of civil liberties, and against what the Constitution deems our "natural rights."

Whether you agree with OWS or not, these people have the right, WE have the RIGHT to peacefully and nonviolently assemble in our public places, and engage in free speech and protest. If we allow what is currently happening to continue, it will be a loss of rights for ALL of us.

These people are taking a shot of pepper spray in the face for you. Pick up the phone for them. 

Call your congressmen, write letters to editors, Representatives, city council members, university presidents, anyone and everyone, and DEMAND that this stop and that these officers are held accountable for their actions. This is the United States of America - we are not supposed to be a police state... it's up to you if we become one or not.  

The only way our democracy is not an illusion, is if we take control of it.

We Are FREE PEOPLE!

On December 15, 1791, through process of ratification by three fourths of the states

The Bill of Rights came into effect as Constitutional Ammendments

The Bill of Rights includes the first ten ammendments to the US Constitution

The purpose of these ammendments are to preserve the natural rights of the citizens of the United States

among these natural rights are the right to freedom of speech

The freedom of association

and the right to assemble peacefully

The First Ammendment of the Bill of Rights prohibits interference with the right to peacfully assemble

and prohibits interference with the right of the people to petition their government for redress of grievances.

According to the Supreme Court of the United States "the right of the people peaceably to assemble for the purpose of petitioning Congress for a redress of grievances, or for anything else connected with the powers or duties of the National Government, is an attribute of national citizenship, and, as such, under protection of, and guaranteed by, the United States" (Justice Morrison Waite, US vs. Cruikshank, US 542 1875)

The 5th and 14th Ammendments of the United States Constitution protect citizens against unnecessary, unreasonable, or excessive force and prohibit cruelty.

We are citizens of the United States of America

We are guaranteed these rights

If those who are meant to protect these rights refuse to do so

Then they must be held accountable.

We are FREE PEOPLE

We are the 99%

It is what it is.

I wanted to give an update on Sasha, since he has been unable to grab a few moments to write.

Long before OWS, or even this blog, he had been participating in huge protests against economic hardship in his country, much like we are now doing here. Finances were really stressful. We compared real estate prices and what you could get here and there for what price.

99 Faces of Occupy Wall Street

99 Faces of Occupy Wall Street

I wanted to share this site. Great photos, interesting statements.

I am not looking for a handout.

I can't describe to you the feeling I get everytime someone hatefully scrawls something about "those bums, just looking for a handout," when they refer to OWS or anyone who supports them. I am sure you know the feeling I am talking about. Something that hits right smack in the middle of outrage, offense, dismay, and sadness.

why satyagraha is critical to OWS

First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you.
Then they fight you. Then you win.

Movements that employ violence become diluted, harm those they profess to advocate for, and eventually evolve into tools of the unethical. Period.

Individuals who consider the possibility of violence are easy targets for agents provocateur, and believe me, they are out there. To give in to incitements to violence will discredit OWS and cause the movement to be seen in a negative light, and rightly so. Violence is not,and never will be, a viable or sustainable option.

What is the Occupy movement about?

What is the Occupy Wall Street movement about? I wanted to share this video, it sums it up nicely...

  

How Can You Support OWS Without Sleeping in a Park?

I am passing along this great blog post from Lauren Leonardi.
I would also like to add, BLOG ABOUT IT!
I will be adding more ways to get involved as they come up. Any suggestions?

They Want to be there

I spent some time in Austin, Tx. this week. As we drove around the city, my work colleagues and I, in our elegant rental car, we passed the Occupy Austin group. One of my coworkers made the comment, "most of those people aren't really Occupy protesters, they are just homeless bums."

I am pleased to announce that I am in Austin, Tx, at a diversity conference, and I am having a good time.
Austin is gorgeous this time of year, and drinking wheat beer with lemons in the rooftop cafe in the middle of downtown is the nicest, most relaxing thing I have done in a while.

I'll be back on Thursday, and continue with the writing.

Oh, what the hell happened to Sasha, you may ask? RL has ahold of him still, I am hoping he will be back, but if not, you will just have to content yourself with me.

See ya soon.

An Open Letter to the Occupy Protesters Worldwide.

Take courage, and stand firm for your convictions. Your movement is Our movement... We, the People.

As you march, and occupy, and hold your ground against those forces who seek to remove you and to still your voice, remember those who have gone before you. Those, who like you, were ridiculed, ignored, discounted, assaulted, accused of being anti-American, and of having nothing important to say...Remember, and take courage.

Antipode

The word antipode refers to things (usually in locational context of parts of the earth) that are diametrically oposed, or to people or things that are the exact oposite or contrary to.

A Day of Atonement

So, after that last little nugget of happiness I thought another post was in order. In my last post I mentioned that I had written a letter to Sasha on Yom Kippur. The ever cynical Israeli had messaged to let me know that he would be out of pocket starting at sundown until the next night. I was, to say the least, surprised. Why? Well, I know he is not religious, we have had discussions about it before, he even goes so far as to deride such things… so why the observance. Immediately my curiosity was peaked. I went to that bastion of information, Google, and learned that Yom Kippur is the highest of the high holy days… the day of atonement. Apparently it involves fasting for 25 hours, a lot of horn blowing, and something to do with a chicken. I was intrigued. From what I was able to find out, this was the day when your sins would be forgiven. I likened it, in the letter, to a Jewish ‘get out of jail free’ card.

So many words, so little time...

Okay, I couldn't stay away for too long. The little birds keep coming back and flapping around with infuriating insistence. Life has been challenging, however, so I am sure I will be posting about that, and hopefully it won't become tedious. Life has Sasha firm in its grips, and he has been finding it hard to make his way here to write, but I am hoping he will surprise us with an acerbic gem or two in the near future.                                                                                                      I found the little picture at the left and thought... "Yes, that is about where I am at." The roof is torn off, the heart is torn out, the head is broken, and everything is a shambles, yet the little birds are still there, cheeping, and scratching, and pecking, and so I pick up the pen and write something down. My life is exploding around me, yet I can still find time to feel deep curiosity about the rituals of Yom Kippur, and what Sasha did on that day... and to write him a long email about said curiosity and what I thought about it.

Seriously, I think my priorities are screwed up. Even in the shit, I am writing.

Now, I am not saying that I am a great writer. I am just saying that I am a prolific one, and I can't help it. It's not that I like to write. I NEED to write. Just like I need to analyse. And, of course, that leads to analysis of why I need to write. I wake up in the middle of the night with this crap going on in my head and have to reach for a pen and paper. It's sick.

I noticed, that while going through all this difficulty, I had two people I spoke to about it. Both of them online. It caused me to question my rationale. Why? Is it because I have no freinds, no "real" person I can turn to for support? Is it because I don't want to face the reality of what is going on so I turn to the virtual? Is it because it is so terrible that I want to keep it hidden from people I would deal with on a day to day basis? No, I think it is because talking to these two friends takes place in written form, so I can express what is going on, and work through what is going on, in the medium I am most comfortable with. That, and Sasha, who is one of those friends, is the most no bullshit person I have ever met and I deeply value his perspective. Maybe one day I can write openly about what is going on with me... but it's not something I want to share here. It's for another blog, one I don't like going to very much. One I am not ready to share. 

I have so many words, so many ideas... and so very little time.  

Done for a bit

All my little birds have flown.

That day again

I am Surrendering to gravity of the unknown

catch me, heal me, lift me back up to the sun

I choose to live

Vague

Can I see inside and find it?  Can I reach inside and pull it out? Can I look at it long enough to form the words? Can I commit to it? Can I be fearless? Can I make the decision?
Is this the time?

The little blackbird in my head is insistently pecking away, trying to chip its way free and fly. Fall is gently prodding with its frost fingers, nodding its hoary head. The scent of possibility is in the air. What does spring know? Autumn is the fullness, and the harvest. The new year. The richness of another beginning. I was born in the Autumn, a child of the equinox, and so my constant striving for equilibrium. I yearn for the fires and the magic. Come Mabon and Samhain. the mother is croning. We are moving into the time of wisdom. It is the twilight time, and Raven sees through the veil between light and darkness. Great Bird, whose image resides in my name, Let this be the time.

A Respectful Letter.

Dear Members of Congress,

Hi, it’s me, Corvid. It has been a while, so I thought I would drop a line to see how you were doing. I have been hearing a lot of things on the news lately about your plans, and I know I am just an ignorant plebeian, but I wanted to speak up and give you some encouragement.

It seems that you are having some money troubles and you can’t agree on how to fix them. Boy, do I know the feeling. Some of you think that cutting all that wasteful spending to scientific research will do the trick. Who needs science? Especially when 95% of scientists agree on that pesky climate change issue, and keep bugging you about it. Don’t they realize we would have to change our entire way of living? Just to save the planet?! I mean really, our kids can take care of that, right? And space exploration? Yes, I know that most of the technologies, especially the medical ones, we use today were in some way developed through the space program, but hell, we don’t need NASA to keep us at the top of our game! Dick Cheney got his heart pump, and THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS. Let’s just hitch a ride with the Russians... Maybe we can help them get to the moon because they were never able to make it there back in the 60’s when we did. Talk about international cooperation!

Some of you want to cut spending to those awful, socialist entitlement programs. I mean, what the hell was FDR thinking? New deal? Everyone knows Americans are dead lazy, and would rather live on the street and eat out of garbage cans than work a decent 9 to 5. Hell, I have been tempted myself. So what are you going to do about all these worthless freeloaders? And don’t even get me started on the old people. They should work, whats with this retirement crap?! Look, unemployment is at a record 9.5 percent and if you don't do something fast, all these freeloaders are going to drain the country dry scrounging for their handouts. CUT THEM OFF. End it all. Unemployment, food stamps... hell, if we cut off medicaid that should shave a pretty good chunk off the population. Just give the hospitals the right to refuse. The clean up might be a little on heavy side at first, but once all those freeloaders die off, we will all be better off. Survival of the fittest, right? Population and economic control all in one fell swoop. Way to go Congress! Are ya feelin’ me?

Deregulation of financial institutions is a great idea. They have our best interests at heart and would never take advantage. Right? And taxes for the rich? Haven’t those billionaires suffered enough??? COME ON! I don’t think they should have to pay any taxes at all. Hell, we should be grateful to them for... something... I’ll think of it in a minute. I got it, lets pass a new law. We will just pay THEM 25% of our income. Those poor rich guys need a break!

Let’s talk about schools. Teachers are lazy. So are the kids, for that matter. Like Michelle Bachman said, what kids need are jobs. PUT THOSE LITTLE FUCKERS TO WORK! They aren’t learning anything anyway, and who needs to know all that liberal, revisionist history stuff anyway? Throw the bums out. We would be saving a big chunk of change.

and lastly, 3 Trillion dollars on war is not enough. It gratifies me to know that you are cutting Nasa’s budget to the quick because providing air conditioning to the troops in Iraq costs more than the space program’s yearly budget, and by God we need those funds to keep our boys cool! This is the war on TERROR! We are making Iraq free, and hell, we can’t quit now. And as for Afghanistan... we will show those damned Russians that we can succeed where they failed. Just keep pluggin’ away, I say. It’s worth every red cent, and the 4474 American lives lost in Iraq, and the 1,769 lost in Afghanistan... but hell, that’s okay cause we showed them! We killed 1,455,590 of those ragheads, we got them 325 to one! HOO DOGGIES! THAT MAKES ME PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN!!

So keep up the good work Gentlemen! You are good patriots and will do this country proud.

Love and kisses,
Corvid

Burned

<--- that's kind of where I am at right now. I don't really like to carry what is going on in my 3 dimensional life, to my digital one. Nothing worse than listening to someone go on and on about how their life sucks.

But one bad thing that having a hard time does, it screws up your ability to empathize. Empathy is really necessary to a friendship.

Not to mention the fact that I am a bad listener.

I think I pissed Sasha off pretty good today. I am good at that, it's my special power. I am sort of pared down to "take care of shit, just do it," mode. So I have a tendency to barf that all over anyone else who says "I am having a hard time."

I am an imaginer of worlds and a creator of personas. It is because I love to write, it's a passion. But it's also because my world, and who I am... who I really am. Well, not so great. I am sure there is a psychological term for that.

I do not regret what I said. It is where I am right now, and if I came to him, I would expect of all people, the unsentimental, truthful, blunt, unpolitically correct Sasha to give me straight talk, and then tell me to shut the hell up and get on with the business of making things work. But that is because that is who I percieve he is. Just like he most likely percieves a gentle and compassionate Corvid. We just got a small taste of reality.

This blog was not intended to be a forum for he and I to write about each other. We are just taking a small station break to figure a few things out. Regular programming will resume shortly.

To my friend. Sorry about that.

Since we are posting music.

for no one. And everyone. But mostly for Sasha and Maya.


Saw the gap again today
while you were begging me to stay
take care not to make me enter
if i do we both may disappear

Saw the gap again today
while you were begging me to stay
managed to push myself away
and you as well my dear
and you, as well
pushed you away my dear

I will choke until I swallow
choke this infant right before me
What are you but my reflection?
who am i to judge or strike you down?
who am i to judge or strike you down?
but your pushing me
and i'm shoving you
and your pushing me
and i'm shoving you

Rest your trigger on my finger
bang my head upon the fault line
You better take care not to make me enter
if i do we both may disappear
if i do we both may disappear

but your pushing me
and i'm shoving you
and your pushing me
and i'm shoving you
you still love me
you still love me
you still love me
you still love me
and were pushing and were shoving
and i'm pushing as your shoving

And i'm slipping back into the gap again
i feel alive when you touch me.
i feel alive when you hold me........down

slipping back into you
slipping back into you

i am somewhere i don't wanna be, yeah
put me somewhere i don't wanna be
push me somewhere i don't wanna be
seeing someplace i don't wanna see
never wanna see that place again.....

saw the gap again today
while you were begging me to stay
managed to push myself away
and you as well my dear
if, when i say i might fade like a sigh if i stay,
you minimize my movement anyways
i must persuade you another way
pushing and shoving and
pushing and shoving and
pushing me
there's no love in fear

starring down the hole again
hands are on my back again
survival is my only friend
terrified of what may come

Remember i will always love you
As i claw your fucking throat away
It will end no other way
it will end no other way.

What is 'it?'

Should I feel like an internet succubus?


I am Corvid. No really, I am.

I am also Krsna Hare, Krsna Samsara , Zeraphael, and Zera, and there may even be a little Maya in there too. But all these little pieces, these single streams, come together at some point and are part of Corvid, who goes by another name on the other side of the keyboard… but a crow by any other name is just another black, dirty bird, right?

I’ve used a lot of names. We’ve used a lot of names. We have shared some personalities. We are still who we are. Who we were.

I was Krsna, he was Neuro, the playground was Secondlife, or more specifically, a roleplay sim in Secondlife. We liked to talk, we liked to roleplay. There was drama and we got caught up in it, like you do.

Time passed. He came back. It made me glad. And really, after the intitial “hey, glad to see you, sorry about the bullshit,” we fell right back in like we had never stopped talking. He wonders how that could be. I don’t really question it. It doesn’t bother me. I am happy it did.

But what is “it?” What is it that makes us look for the little green online indicator? What makes us spend prodigious amounts of our free time in google docs, or google talk, or InWorldz?

I can’t speak for Sasha. He can speak for himself and contradict me or, most likely, tell me that I am over thinking things. I can only speak for myself.

First off, what “it” is not.

This is not love. It’s not romance. It isn’t lust. It’s not cyberperversion. At least on my end, none of those feelings are in play. I don’t think it is the case on his end either. He loves his wife, I like to listen to him talk about her, she sounds amazing.

So, what is it?

Can it be friendship? Can it be possible? We have never, and most likely will never see each other face to face. We haven’t spoken in any other medium than text. Our interaction is oddly comfortable and well worn. I imagine having dinner together, getting to know his wife. Watching his kids play. These things, I know, will never happen. But those are the things that qualify friendship. Does an online, text based interaction count? Is it destined to implode?

Is there a terrible consequence for friendship? Is there a price? Do we have to pay it? Or can we dine and dash?

Even our roleplay characters have a comfortable, if not conventional mesh. No matter who we come up with, they go well together, even if we are torturing them horribly. We both seem very interested in delving into uncomfortable places that are not easy to go, not easy to explore or commit to words. We have done this in the context of roleplay, and I think we are branching out from there. As Sasha has said to me… roleplay has too many rules. It holds you back. And He’s right.

The question why sits there, but I don’t have anything for it. I don’t know why we clicked so fast. I don’t know why we write about strange things. I don’t know what the future holds. I just hope he is there, in it, in some form.

I am being sentimental again.

One thing I like about Sasha. He isn’t sentimental, he doesn’t bullshit. He’s smart, and funny, and interesting. He makes me laugh and makes me mad and makes me think.

Who wouldn’t want to talk to someone like that? Who wouldn’t want to be friends with someone like that?

Corvid does.

Playground

I'm not Sasha. And she's not Corvid. We met a long time ago in a digital playground, where we played analog games, using names that weren't our own. We called it Roleplaying. Kids call it Pretend. We were other people and it was good.

We still do that. We write stories and shape make-believe lives, toying with conflicts between good and bad. Pretty and gruesome. I've been doing that since childhood and, apparently, never got over it. That could be a problem right there, but at least I get to mold that problem into a make-believe character. Grow it, twist it around. Exaggerate. It makes me feel simple in contrast. Safe, even when there's no reason to.

We haven't spoken in years, Corvid and I. And now we're playing again. I keep wondering why it is we went from 0 to 100 so fast and what the price of that will be. Because I'm sure there will be one. There always is. But for the time being, I'm having fun in this dangerous imbalance. It's a hell of a ride, even if I know it won't last. School's coming soon. And a change of jobs. The nights are just too hard, and I miss falling asleep with my wife. Even though I was never much good at that last bit.

We came up with a new story a couple of nights ago. Sasha and Maya - two junkies in a post-apocalyptic world. There is no romance in that story. There's plenty of pain, though. And fear. And self-abuse. I don't know, it makes little sense to me to project yourself into a stream of bits, just to shape creatures as miserable as those two. To cast them into a vicious environment and torture them in morbid games of survival. Make them lose their minds. It's something Real Writers do, and I can't say I am one. The process of writing, I just can't imagine it to be like this. There's too much burnout in this game for it to last a whole book. Too many haunting images, ideas, words.

I work a couple of hours drive from where I live, a thing which awards me with a lot of free time, alone. Driving. Just me, music, and haunting thoughts. So today, as I listened to the road's ever changing soundtrack, a few things clicked. And at the time, made me want to share. So I stopped the car at the nearest cafe and sat down to write.

I think I'll start with one for Corvid and Sasha, the digital personas. It's not really who we are... but in a way, it is. When we're in the playground.

Don't mind the video. There are no fancy visuals on the road. Only words, music, and delirious minds.

And here are the lyrics, translation courtesy of Google. It does sound better in Hebrew.

To sleep without dreaming
To sleep without knowing
To lie without thinking
To love without touching

Going to speak
A conversation without hearing
To whisper from afar
To whisper and run away

Airplanes pass low
Taxis return at night
From the north to the South
And I'm always below

To sleep without dreaming ...

The business of never forgetting.

There are two children. Sasha and Corvid, and they are friends.

 Sasha is from a rough neighborhood, he has been around the block a few times. He knows what it is like to take a punch. His people have been in that same neighborhood for generations.

Corvid comes from a nice neighborhood. It’s relatively safe and sheltered. She is secure, in a manner of speaking, and her family has lived in the same place for generations.

They meet on the playground everyday. They are friends.

One day, another kid from a rough neighborhood comes to the playground. He sneaks up behind Corvid, jumps on her, and beats her up. Then he runs away and hides.

Corvid cries. This has never happened to her before. She is scared, but most of all she doesn’t understand why.  Sasha isn’t too concerned, this kind of thing happens all the time, and Corvid should pick herself up, dust herself off, and get over it.

She keeps asking, “but why? I don’t understand why this happened?”

Sasha says he doesn’t know. It happens. Where he comes from it happens every day.

“But why?” Corvid says…

But why?

The more Corvid asks why, the more irritated Sasha gets. Why didn’t she understand, this happens? This happens to everyone else a lot more than it happens to her so why can’t she just shut the fuck up about it? All the other kids on the playground get irritated with Corvid. Why is she so special anyway?

And she still asks. “But why?”

For the past week and a half we have been going through the business of never forgetting.

We won’t “never forget.” It doesn’t work like that. What we need to do is ask why. And keep asking why, until we get an answer.

I wanted to write about 9/11 because it happened, and it affected me... and,  I didn’t want to write about 9/11 because I am tired of career politicians using it as a political weapon. I am tired of cable news commentators hyperbolizing it. I am tired of flags, and eagles, and heroes, and 9/11 commemorative plates with hand painted gold piping for only $9.95. Radio specials, TV specials, bad made for TV movies, etc.

 I thought of several different approaches, analogies, analysis. But in the end, I can only tell one story. My own.

The Event.  9/11. some men got on some planes, and they made the planes fly into buildings, and the buildings fell down. And a whole fuckload of people died.

People.

Regular people. Just people. Not heroes, just people.  3000 people. Moms, dads, kids, husbands, wives. People.

People, most of whom didn’t know much more in life than getting up, feeding their kids, going to work, going home, paying bills, doing homework, sharing dinner, going to bed. Getting up and doing it all over again. Just like me. They were just people.

Those people in those buildings didn’t do anything wrong. They were just like people all over the world, just trying to live. Just trying to get by.  Just people.

But their story isn’t my story.

The most indelible image of two skyscrapers burning and falling to the ground 1,800 miles away from where I lived, were of the people jumping from the top floors of the towers because they didn’t want to burn alive. I stood there, watching, because I didn’t know what else to do. I cried. I wanted to run, to catch them, to cradle them, to save them. I wanted to do something, but there was nothing I could do. I wanted to know why.  I cried out, “why.”

It is the same question that the women and men who run out into the street after a car explodes in their marketplace ask… as they cry, and press hands to wounds, and try to do something.

Why.  We all ask why. I am just an ordinary person living my ordinary life. Why?

The rest of it didn’t happen to me. I didn’t smell the smoke or have the buildings crash down on my head. I didn’t dig my hands bloody and stagger in exhaustion trying to save my neighbors.

My story went more like this…

It was an ordinary day. Then I saw the news and watched in disbelief. I was afraid and did not know what was going on. I had never heard of the Taliban. I did not know who Osama bin Laden was. We thought, at first, that it was an accident.

Then we knew it wasn’t.

My home town is basically a small civilian pocket in the midst of several military installations. On the day, and for many days after everything shut down. It all came to a screeching halt. The roads all closed, the bases shut down, and the civilians who worked on them were not allowed to leave, they could not go home to their families for days. There were armed soldiers everywhere. The major highway I used to drive 75 miles to the next town where I went to university was closed.

People were frightened, frantic. There was a strange, pervasive silence everywhere… as if we were collectively at a loss for words.

We wondered what else was going to happen. We wondered why?

When the roads opened up and I was able to go back to school everything was different.

The day before, I met with Khadija and Johnathon. We went to the little Moroccan café where they gave Khadija and all her friends the royal treatment because she was from their home town. Johnathon  would make sure that we understood he was Guatemalan, and didn’t do any of that Mexican shit. Julio, who was a basketball player and as loud as he was tall, had just converted to Islam the month before and was filled with excitement about it. He loved to come to the café and yell “Assalaamu 'alaykum,” in his big, cheerful voice. All the Saudi boys played endless football games on the mall, the kids from India and Sri Lanka sat on the tables in front of the engineering building and studied together. Professors from all over the world were teaching classes, imparting philosophies, exchanging information.

On coming back, Khadija was gone. Her family brought her home. Johnathon had tried to go home to Chicago, and was approached by security, thrown to the ground, frisked, and detained because he looked like an Arab. Professor Singh was assaulted three times in a single day because he wore a turban. The Saudi families had to go register with the FBI and report to them on a weekly basis. Julio never shouted his cheerful greeting again, he never went back to the mosque because he was afraid to. We were worried how it would affect business at the café and tried to patron it as much as possible, showing our support for a family who had been in the US for over 20 years. Suddenly, everyone was from someplace else. Everyone was different.

The ROTC Batallion at the campus did a tribute to the fallen. They fired a howitzer. I remember how everyone at the student union center fell to the floor when they heard it. It was quite possibly one of the most terrifying sounds I have ever heard. Later that year there were fireworks at the stadium across from campus housing. Instead of running outside to watch when I heard the BOOM BOOM BOOM,  I freaked out until I figured out what was happening.

These are the things I remember. Ordinary things. The things that keep coming back to mind whenever someone mentions 9/11. I remember the change. The difference. We lost something. We never thought about how easy and free we all were, and then it was gone.

When I was a kid, I liked to run. I ran over the grass as fast as I could go, and the world was big, and wide and endless with possibility and wonder. And I loved it. I loved the world, and I loved being in it. The world was beautiful.

On 9/11 strange men I never knew and had no understanding of, tried to take that from me. For reasons unknown to me. I still ask why.

Why they tried to take my freedom.

You see, freedom is not about national security, or the right to vote, or civil liberties. Freedom is not about symbols, or patriotism, or politics, or democracy. Freedom is not about what country you live in, what nationality you claim, or what philosophy you hold.

Freedom is running and running and never stopping, because the world is endless, and it’s beautiful.

When that comes under attack, we have to ask why. And we have to keep on asking why until we find out. We have to question it. Not just the crazies, the fundamentalists, the jihadists.. but the militarists, the nationalists, the religionists... all of them. All of them.

I will not lose my freedom. I will cling to it tenaciously. I will love the world. I will look at it with a sense of wonder. I will be hopeful. I will never let anyone take that from me.

I am Corvid. I am an American. I may be naive, but I will never stop asking why.