I'm Not your Bitch...

Okay, hey, no I am NOT DEAD! I haven't died, I have just been thinking... and mulling things over a bit. I know you have been awaiting my next post as impatiently as a George R. R. Martin novel, but Niel Gaiman says he is not your bitch, and neither am I.

What have I been doing, you may ask? Well aside from chat trips for virtual beer and pizza with Sasha to talk about life, the universe, and everything (he is doing well, I will tell him you asked)... I have been formulating a plan. Oh, indeed I have.

See, all my life I have been in the proverbial conundrum regarding what I want to be when I grow up. I have always sort of fancied myself a writer, but not in the serious "I am gonna do this shit!" way. More in the "well... I write, and it's good, and people read it, but I am not really a writer... you know, a WRITER writer..." kind of way. As a result, I just sort of piddle with writing and angst over not doing anything artistic and creative, and work a dull job and live a life that could be a little better. My excuse, designed with great skill to keep me from making any real effort, has always been "but, I don't know where to start!"

For one reason or another I have a tendency to lose confidence in my work about half way through so I talk myself out of finishing, or get caught up editing and re-editing because I never think it is good enough. I get frustrated and put it away, sometimes for months at a time. Sometimes I never pick it up again. I am coming to realize how destructive this really is.

Well. I am done.
You are only given so many stories.

I am going to make an honest effort of it. The writing thing. The WRITING writing thing. I am getting a domain name, making a page, compiling my stuff. Not just the one story, but ALL the stories. All the stories I haven't shared, and the one I have. I am getting organized. I am creating a workspace, setting up my computer, creating a schedule. And most of all I am going to acknowledge the fact, to myself and others, that I am a writer.

Basically, without boring you with the tedious details, I am taking action. Serious action, because life is short and I really want to do this. Maybe by confessing what I want to do here, in this space, it will serve as a commitment of sorts. A promise to myself that I will not give up, that I will follow through, and start putting the stories out there. I hope I can count on you for support, encouragement, comments, jokes, feedback, and perhaps the occasional care package of essential salty carbs.

Several of you (and you know who you are), have been most encouraging. "You are good!" you say. "I like your stuff." Well, isn't that all it takes? To write and have others read and appreciate? I am hoping so. I am determined at this point in my life to stop being sensible, and just go for it. I don't care if  I never actually make a living doing it, I don't care if only a few people read what I have to say. I need to write... I need to write as a writer.